Guest Post by Rana Raheel Babar
Mr. Pervaiz Musharraf
The President of Islamic Republic of Pakistan
Re: A Business Proposal
Dear Mr. Pervaiz Musharraf,
It is such an undesirable pleasure to have you (General Purvez s/o Busharraf) as our forced president.
Mr. President, I truly consider it as an outcome of your sincere and untiring efforts for Pakistan that you were able to fulfill the obligations committed to Pakistan’s allies and their war on terror. You have truly done an outstanding job also in promoting Pakistani men and women as “saleable commodities” in foreign markets and more specifically the American market. Due credit must also go to your appointed Prime Minister stooge who also jointly welcomed these financial powerhouses sweeping into our country compromising our security and national integrity beyond repair
Your enlightened decisions have also had a great impact in promoting the business interests of foreigners and locals alike, it is a fact that we have never had such an environment of ample trading opportunities available right here on our door steps, hence a valid reason to explore the option of offering you a lucrative business proposal which I hope you would consider favorably.
Mr. President, it is an established fact that you have been selling Pakistani men and women @ US$ 5000/- each in effect participating with the collaboration of foreign investors in the lucrative business of human trafficking, bartering our Pakistani/Muslim women with foreign investors right under our noses.
You must be well aware of the fact that we call human traffickers as “brokers” which can be further translated into Urdu or Punjabi with its equivalent slang, which I dare not use here for the sake of sounding disrespectful to the office of the President of Pakistan.
It must however hurt to see your partners (US & FBI friends) tarnishing your outstanding image just in a lame attempt to divest the credit from you directly. However, it requires just a little common sense to see through their evil plans and we must acknowledge and applaud your services to our country, more so as our resident Army General and more importantly as the forced President of Pakistan who has truly supported Pakistani interests for the wider good.
Mr. President, we take this opportunity to formally invite you to explore the business potential with us local Pakistani nationals, after all we should be having more rights on our own abundant local resources instead of serving up a sweet deal to your foreign compatriots. Since, we would be buying and selling with the local commodities, might we suggest that the mode of payment be geared up towards our local Pakistani currency and not be dependent on an erratically unstable US dollars surely this would be option might be of interest to a man who has forever proclaimed ‘Sub Say Pehlay Pakistan’ [Pakistan First]
To show our good faith we offer to have it initiated right from within your own home, more so as a blessing and goodwill charm, than anything else. Mr. President, we are presenting an offer to buy your immediate family members, as suggestive of our goodwill gesture might we have the honor to start from your mother, father(s), daughters, sons, brothers and sisters, @ Rs.5,000/- each. It is truly an amazing offer one that might have made you instantly jump up in surprise and astonishment as to why you had not thought of this before, a wealth of resources right at your doorstep, truly we agree with you, how could you have overlooked such prime business potential.
Might we take a little more time to explain the silent features of our deal, it is our firm belief we, the Pakistani Muslims, will be treating your sold commodities with utmost respect and dignity they deserve as of any Muslim/Pakistani men/women and would hope not to repeat the mistakes made by the United States of America who may have mistreated your previously sold commodities ie. our Pakistani/Muslim brethren and sisters being held in Baghram and Guantanamo jails. Please also rest assured that in we will be covering all expenses entailed in the delivery of the goods to the final destination yet again perfectly in line with your previous commitment to the Unites States government and the FBI
To complete the transaction we would only like a verbal approval at your earliest convenience, additionally we would appreciate if you can email us directly details of how you would like to have the funds transferred to your multiple accounts located across the world
We conclude with the hope that you view this business proposal favorably to ensure that Pakistan may aptly utilize their own resources to improve the financial stability of our country. After all we chant the slogan with you in tandem – Sab Se Pehlay Pakistan
With the best regards,
Rana Raheel Babar
on behalf of all Pakistanis