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Posts tagged with: Humor

Clearance Sale for Hilal-e-Quaid-e-Azam

Pakistan Medal Clearance SalePakistan’s second highest civil award is on clearance sale. Any one who has done or not done any good to Pakistan is welcome to apply. Nationality, status, gender, position, or contribution to any cause is not a criterion. All you need is to appear at the President House, preferably wearing a suit, and be able to stay in close proximity of our President for about five minutes. Your satisfaction is assured through our no risk, no-questions-asked, money-back guarantee.

If for any reason, you aren’t thrilled or satisfied with your medal, we shall be happy to replace this with any other medal of your choice. More than one medals can be considered for individuals assuring continued drone attacks.

Two or more from the same organisation are entitled to 10% discount. Special discounts available for US citizens.


R Malik
Advisor for Ulterior Affairs

Interview with Mangal Bagh

Guest Blog by Faisal K. from Deadpanthoughts

Just who is Mangal Bagh Afridi a khurram agency bus driver turned religious zealot? Or a savvy implant by the ISI into this troubled sector to bring about a liberation of the locals from the foreign Taliban. According to noted history Mangal bagh came into being when Mufti Munir Shakir who had established a radio station in the Khurram agency for broadcasting his views over the airwaves handed over the torch to a young Mangal who then used this pirate radio station to become an overnight success and gathered thousands of followers around him hence forming the militant group Lashkar E Islam. He is a known media savvy militant and quite a character in giving statements. Below is a fictitious interview of Mr Bagh.

F.K: So why the name Mangal?

Mangal: Assallam O alikum wa rehma tullahe wa ba ra ka tu hu, I chose the name Mangal because of the way it sounds. It rolls off the tongue, you know brother I used to be a bus driver and heard many Indian songs while driving around bara, try it “Mangale Mangale Mangale Mangale ho”

F.K: what is the purpose of the “Lashkar E Islam?

Mangal: What is your purpose of coming here? Brother look at your face in the mirror you have forgotten how to smile, you know why? Because you let your women ride you like he goats and nod in silly discussions about the fate of the world when you can decide your destiny yourself, you are just a child.
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HUMOR: Making sense of Asif Zardari & Sarah Palin encounter

All day yesterday I was thinking – what stupidity of our President to have flirted with the republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin on live TV. The only possible scenario that comes close to some reasoning is as follows

Take for example the two most important comments that Asif Ali Zardari made to Sarah Palin

  • AZ: You’re looking GORGEOUS
  • AZ: If he insists, I could HUG

Now picturize a sleaze bag truck driver in Pakistan looking at Sarah Palin for the first time

  • Truck Driver: ooye tou barri CHIKNI lag rahi hai
  • Truck Driver: aao JHAPPI paa lay

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Humor: PPP’s Annual Press Release

Annual Report – September 15, 2008

Management Discussion and Analysis (MDNA) – Brief

The Permanent Plunder Party (PPP) Co. is extremely pleased to announce the results from the success of its “Say What You Don’t Mean” (SWYDM) pills that were designed to induce “hallucinations” and spur episodes of “selective amnesia” among the general public in Pakistan. The past year has witnessed an unprecedented level of success for SWYDM’s as they have been widely applied throughout Pakistan. “The development of these pills demonstrates the exceptional ingenuity of the research team of PPP Co and the far-reaching vision of its leaders,” stated Larry Rehman, Director of Mass Communication Campaign of the PPP.

The SWYDM’s are the culmination of a long and strenuous development process that spanned multiple continents as the research was simultaneously undertaken in Pakistan, Dubai, London and New York/Washington. As one of its architects, Mr. AAZ acted as a test subject. The initial dose induced multiple side effects; Stephen Reich, a psychiatrist from New York State, said “AAZ was unable to recall the birthdays of his wife and children and had thought about suicide,” and “I do not see any improvement in these issues for at least a year,” he wrote in a medical report.
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The President prayed ‘May God give us strength to save Pakistan’

Today our newly elected President Mr. Asif Ali Zardari came to Karachi for his first official trip since being elected into office. His arrival did lead to the usual ruckus of traffic mayhem on Shahrah-e-Faisal, but thats beside the point. Our leader did choose to pay homage to the father of the nation by visiting Quaid-e-Azam’s Mazar where he laid a wreath to commemorate the 60th death anniversary which falls on September 11th. Mr Zardari also signed the guest book at the mausoleum

APP published a news report which said

President Asif Zardari laid a floral wreath at the Quaid’s mazar. Recording his impressions, in the Visitors Book placed at the mausoleum, the President prayed ‘May God give us strength to save Pakistan

The funny bone within me some how laughs at the minor omission in the report, when signing the book I am damn sure he must have also signed his name – and I suppose that the message must have actually been

May God give us strength to save Pakistan — From Asif Ali Zardari

Im glad he was being very honest, to my pro-PPP critics I think you are right Mr. Zardari is indeed a changed man, at least he is being honest with us – LOL [Humor]

Arbab Ghulam Rahim gets Slapped with a Shoe

Today at the Sindh Assembly Arbab Ghulam Rahim gets a royal treatment with a shoe slapped across his forehead. It may seem funny for many, sweet revenge for others but all said as members of a democratic and sane society we must condemn this act as this is no way to treat an elected parliamentary member or for that matter any human being.

If you despise him, then try him for corruption, take him task for all his wrong doings heck take him to court and prove his underhanded dealings but more importantly use words but avoid any form of physical assault. I must condemn this act at all costs.


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Karachi Metroblogs pulls an April Fools prank

The cat is finally out of the bag, and the entire Karachi Metroblog team has come clean accepting the April fools joke being played on its readers. The plan was hatched barely two days ago on our internal mailing list, a number of ideas were floated to finally settle with two options one was for a prank news of a pipeline being laid down by Saudi Arabia to supply much needed electrical power to ease the woes of Karachiites and the other was to announce the shut down of the blog. Both ideas played well but the KMB shut down prank attracted the most attention. We cant be sure if many people fell for it but the number of comments received showed that we did have half-believers.

The Gotchya post can be read on KMB here. I hope people did enjoy the joke as it was truly meant to spice up the energy levels which have been on a slow crawl since some time.

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